What the hell is it with people who get so religiously obsessed that they make fucking asses out of themselves ?
This moron came in looking for a Western Union outlet so he could get some money. Our assistant manager told him 3 times we had one in the store; but he didn't get the concept.
Once he figured it out- he shouted "PRAISE THE LORD HALLELUJIA" numerous times.
Turns out there was no money for him with Western Union.
He left then came back and wandered the store for 2 1/2 hours filling the basket with shit, stopping every so often to pretend he was directing a church choir- which was actually a display of Triscuits and Wheat Thins.
He kept shouting "Hallelujia" every so often.
Finally somebody called the cops and had him removed- he left peacefully. I am surprised some of these cowboys around here didn't kick his ass.
I sure wanted to punch him in the mouth just so he would STFU.
To royally "F.U." requires an inept government employee....
June 7 issue - Federal investigators are frantically trying to determine what happened to a missing laptop computer that contains sensitive data on as many as 100 Drug Enforcement Administration investigations around the country, including a wealth of information about many of the agency's confidential informants, NEWSWEEK has learned.
Here I was today- working the express lane, and a dumbass comes up and asks
"Is this 15 items ?"
I respond "Did you count it ?"
After she pays, I turn to the next customer, then turn back around to see that the previous dummy had left- without her groceries.
A few minutes later she returns and asks "Was I supposed to put my groceries in the basket myself ?"
( I'm thinking You paid for it dumbass, do whatever you want with it )
After displaying a painting of U.S. soldiers torturing Iraqi prisoners, a San Francisco gallery owner bears a painful reminder of the nations unresolved anguish over the incidents at Abu Ghraib -- a black eye and bloodied brow delivered by an unknown assailant who apparently objected to the art work.This kind of shit bothers me- the fact that somebody gets attacked for displaying so-called art. The paintings are graphic, and they fuel the anti-military extremists; yet it seems this is a symptom of something deeper in this country....
....and that would be the slow death of freedom of expression. It is becoming a Fear of Expression because of attacks like this. This kind of intimidation was acceptable in the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany.
All I can say is if they don't like the art- then picket the place, or better yet- ignore it altogether ! The sound of silence can be deafening.
Former Arizona Cardinal Pat Tillman, who died in April while a U.S. soldier fighting in Afghanistan, likely was killed by friendly fire.Things that make you say "SHIT!!"
The fog of war is a terrible thing.
A man goes to a doctor complaining about a pain in his ass....
The doctor diagnoses inflamed hemmorhoids and hands him
Preparation H and tells him "Take these and see me in a week for a follow up."
A week later the patient returns, looking miserable.
The Dr. asks "Do you feel any better?"
The patient says "No- and for all these damn suppositories were worth, I might as well have shoved them up my ass!"
Prosecutors in the child molestation case against Michael Jackson plan to use three independent witnesses to support the allegation that the entertainer gave alcohol to his alleged victim and the boy's siblingsWhy don't they just give their strategy away and blow the case ? Jackasses.
BOISE, Idaho - A hospital worker preparing a 22-month-old for a funeral home noticed the boy was breathing — more than an hour after he had been pronounced dead from drowning.Seems like everybody was told the boy was dead- except the boy himself. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5085797/?GT1=3391
Last night a drunk drives into a local convenience store.
Tonight a dumbass with an oversized trailer takes out part of the Arby's Drive-thru, and then takes off. He had California Plates and is probably already in jail.
He was last seen driving in the direction of the police station-LOL.
Dumb Shit.
The Oakland Raiders have added veteran free agent quarterback Kerry Collins.
http://www.raiders.com/newsroom/newsroomNewsDetail.jsp?id=12346
This guy sure gets around, doesn't he ?
My daughter has chicken pox..... I am glad she has them now, unlike when I did when I was 19.
**** Her school year is over- the doc says she will need to stay out of school 10 days- which shit-cans the year for her.
As for me having them when I was 19- it sucked ! .......
I had them in my hair- between my toes, in my mouth, and on something else that I don't care to mention.
I looked like a burn victim.... and I have a small scar on my face that shows the severity of it.
My daughter has had the chickenpox vaccine, so it could be worse.
Madonna kicked off her world tour last night (Monday) in Los Angeles.Madonna's performing again..... BFD! I made the mistake of going to a concert of hers in 1987....
Personally I never thought she was sexy, I like her early songs, like
Open your Heart to Me and others. I saw her at Anaheim Stadium and it was not all it was crapped up to be.
It was short, and when the crowd was cheering for an encore, she came out and said You're all fucking crazy!
I didn't like the crowd she attracted- wannabes of all ages, druggies and drunks.
She simulated sex with a microphone on stage, etc....
The whole thing was a turnoff for me.
A cowboy rides into a town in the wild west....
....he rides up to the front of a saloon. The bartender is watching the stranger with suspicion. The mysterious cowboy gets off his horse, walks around to the back, lifts up the horse's tail, and kisses it's asshole, then strolls inside.
He orders a drink from the shocked bartender, who promptly gives it to him.
After a few minutes, the bartender could no longer stand it and blurts out:
"Umm- why did you kiss your horse on the asshole?"
Cowboy: "Because I have chapped lips."
Bartender: "What good does that do?"
Cowboy: "Keeps me from licking them."
I could not believe it- I pick up an Rx, drive around the back of the pharmacy to leave and I hear a buzzing sound above the noise of the car engine.... I look out the window and realize I have driven into yet another swarm of bees. I don't know where in the hell they are coming from, but this is the second time in as many weeks a swarm has passed through town.
Have you ever noticed that when you run the words "The IRS" together it spells "Theirs" ?
John Kerry's campaign said Friday he is considering delaying his nomination to gain more time to capitalize on his record-breaking fund raising and reduce President Bush's multimillion-dollar financial advantage.
Ugh- so he is for and against his nomination?
I am having a mind block- so I thought I would share this.
When I was about 13, we had company over.
I felt this big sneeze coming on, and as I turned away from the people to sneeze
my butt was facing towards them.
I sneezed hard, doubled over, and farted on our guests.
The Coalition to Keep Brothels Out of Churchill County planned to deliver petitions containing 1,200 signatures to the county clerk today to get an initiative on the ballot deciding the fate of legal prostitution in Churchill County.
I think this may pass because of a recent incident at a local brothel.
The "owner" of the brothel, who is a royal dumbass, recently traveled to Arkansas, and virtually turned the business over to another person, which is illegal. This other person died of a heart attack, and he did nothing- just left the brothel to flounder. He stayed in Arkansas.
A few days later, police went to check on the business- which is a state requirement to ensure the women are getting their weekly health checkups, the place was abandoned, and all the alcohol was missing.
The place was shut down, and now it looks like it will never re-open.
http://www.lahontanvalleynews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040521/News/105210002
Having voted in California and Nevada, I have come to realize there are some very strange things to vote on....
Here in Nevada, at least in this area, we have to elect members for something called the Mosquito Abatement District.
Just what in the hell that is I have no clue, and I have lived here 11 + years.
When I lived in Riverside County California we actually had to vote for a coroner. This leads me to a bizarre story.
I believe it was the election year of 1992. Oddly enough there was a heated race for the Riverside County coroner.
Not long before election day- the challenger died and the one who did the autopsy was, of course, the incumbent.
Can you imagine a political debate for a coroner's race ?
"He cuts this way, and I cut that way."
This created some shockwaves:
These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids - $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200 for 'Hooked on Phonics.'"I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' ... You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth!"
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/195095p-168538c.html
I am glad to see him say this- because if a white person said it they would have been called racist.
This story was shared with us at the memorial service this past Monday. Only now can I think clearly enough to post this....
Last week there was a birthday party for a girl who called my deceased friend and co-worker "Uncle." He was invited to attend, but had passed away 6 days before the birthday party.
I don't think there was an actual relation there, but this teenage girl thought enough of him to call him that.
At one point she was seen dancing alone.
When asked what she was doing she replied:
"I'm dancing with Uncle Kenny."
These two jokes are probably the dumbest I have heard in a long time....
A redhead, brunette and a blonde are sitting in an OB GYN clinic talking amongst themselves. The redhead asks the brunette "Do you know what sex your baby is?"
The brunette says "I was on top when the baby was conceived, so it's going to be a boy."
The redhead says "I was on the bottom, so I am having a girl."
The blonde falls out of her chair and cries hysterically.....
Then she says "Oh My God- I'm going to have puppies!"
-----------------------------------
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says:
"I'm sorry- we don't serve food."
It has been one month already since the birth of this blog :) I enjoy it- and have been surprised by the number of visitors from locations all over the world. Recently I have seen visitors from Thailand and Japan.
Well today was the service for Kenny....
It was quite good- as those type of things go.
There was a time for people to go up and speak- I was tempted to, but didn't.
Public speaking isn't my forte.
They had a photo of him in the front of the chapel.
There were people I have worked with for years and it was strange to see them in a different light.
I brought plenty of tissues- for myself and those I sat with.
I think it was great that the management allowed us to go to it :)
I really hate this time of year....
All the little high school and college pukes who think they know it all are graduating to a kick in the ass.
I admit to some envy/jealousy for college graduates because I got screwed out of going to college.
There were stupid things that happened and broken promises which kept me from going.
(Another story for another day)
I just hate it when these little pukes get everything handed to them on a platter and they never had to work a job for it.
What I really do not like is hearing parents spewing and gushing over how their little Johnny has been accepted at Shitworm University, or the fact that they are graduating and going to be some big attorney/porn star/ whatever.
Maybe I envy them because somebody gave a shit about their future.....
Ok- enough ranting about this for now......
I have noticed several visitors to this site from Pennsylvania, referred by Google in a search regarding the videotaped murder of that American in Iraq.
Like I said- anyone can find that crap by looking through a search engine....
I have avoided saying the victim's name because it is my way to show respect to the family, but holy shit- the dad has been saying some stupid shit ! He blames the murder on the "sins" of the president and the secretary of defense.
Hmmm- let's see. Iraq is a war zone- any brainless tumbleturd can figure out that you could get killed in a war zone.... hell he was even advised to leave Iraq by the U.S. military !
I do not believe that anybody forced him at gunpoint to go to Iraq.
I have a novice idea- why don't people blame those masked freaks for his murder ?
I see I have had quite a few visitors- almost 200 now, so I guess I am doing ok :) Is there anything anyone wants me to talk about, other than what I do already ?
Feel free to post suggestions.
About 2:30 a HUGE swarm of bees descended on my place of employment. In less than an hour they built a nest about the size of a basketball.
I walked out into it, and heard this buzzing sound- then realized I was standing in a cloud of bees.
I didn't get stung :)
I know I have been a downer lately, so I thought I would post this email I received..... I think it's funny :)
Some I agree with, others I don't- but it makes me think ;) Since brain usage is down among most people, I think thought provoking subjects are a good thing.
-Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own
pants.
-I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said,
Implants?" She hit me.
-I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
-I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
-I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
-I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in
the first place!
-When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
-Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
difference.
-Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in
prison?
-If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with
something called LABOR!
-Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells
live forever.
-Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments
cannot be displayed in a federal building?
-Bumper sticker of the year "If you can read this, thank a teacher.... and
since it's in English, thank a soldier."
I realized only today how quick the police responded to my call on Sunday when
Kenny didn't show up for work......
I was relieved for a break about 8 AM, when I returned about 8:10, and the acting manager was checking and told me that we should call the police to do a welfare check.
Our small town paper prints police calls and today it says:
"May 9, coroner call, South Taylor St. 8:15 AM"
Only 5 minutes..... they were quick !
Where is the outrage ? Where is Ted Kennedy and all the others ? Why have they not condemned the murder of this man in Iraq ?
Where is John Kerry ?
As of this time I have not heard a peep from them.
By the same token- where is the condemnation from other Islamic Clerics ?
It is way too quiet in Washington and the Arab world.
I am a big fan of FOX news, however I am not amused with them today. As I said yesterday, I am totally opposed to any airing of the video of the execution of that American Civilian in Iraq.....
....today as I was beginning my treadmill cardio exercise at the gym, they were starting to show it on the TV they have there.
I turned off the treadmill and left.
No part of that tape should be shown- before during or after the execution. I feel this way because I think compassion to the family should be top priority.
My dad gives a good argument that the brutality of these crotchrot bastards should be broadcast.... but it is well known already.
The terrorists should be gathered together in a remote location and nuked.
Ok- I have to get this off my chest.
An American was beheaded in Iraq, and it was all videotaped and posted on the internet.
Now the debate begins- should they show it on TV, and should websites publish it ?
Here is my take on it.
I have a 13 year old girl who is super sensitive and I find myself today telling her to not watch the news because I can't trust that they won't show it.
To broadcast it in any way is to lower ourselves to the ghoulishness of the blood sucking bastards who did this.
How would you like to turn on the TV and see a videotape of your loved one being beheaded ? Isn't the consideration of the family involved even an issue ?
The fact is you could go on any search engine and find this crap.
Some say this should be broadcast to show the level these creeps have stooped to.
We saw that on September 11, 2001- what more proof do we need ?
I saw people drop to their deaths on live TV- I heard the words fuck and shit so many times on live TV that day.
I saw one photo where 5 people are jumping out of the WTC at the same time.
Why don't the networks just say the real reasons for showing a beheading ?
"We are showing this because we want big ratings"
Last week I had the cooler on- today I have the heater on.
It was so cold I saw a dog stuck to a fire hydrant. :P
Yesterday and today have been quite strange. I have awakened in the middle of the night and the first thing I think about is the death of Kenny....
To illustrate, here is a little background. Kenny was mentally challenged, but a helluva worker. Unfortunately some took advantage of that. He just recently observed his 10th anniversary with us.
He was actually quite humorous. About 18 months ago he had congestive heart problems and more recently had surgery canceled due to an enlarged heart.
A few months ago he failed to show up for work, and he seemed to be looking bad. It turns out he overslept. Back then, as did happen Sunday, when he failed to show, we became alarmed and went to check on him.
I told a co-worker back then that his not showing up scared the hell out of me, because he was in some obvious discomfort and looked bad.
I even made the comment then that I was worried one day we would "talk about him in the past tense" if he didn't take care of himself.
However, recently he was on a rebound, and told some people he hadn't felt this good in a long time.
In fact, he last worked on May 6th. On Saturday he was seen walking somewhere.
On Sunday about 7:10 AM I noticed he was not at work, one of our people went to check on him.
There was no answer, then somebody else tried to do the same.
The boss said "We should do a welfare check on him."
So about 8:20 I called the police, and they were more than willing to do that.
A deputy came in about 9:10, he went into the office. The door closed for about 10 minutes. Several of us looked at each other and shook our heads- so we knew in a way what was going on.
I found out at 11 AM as I was leaving for lunch, and the rest of the store was informed in an employee meeting at 2:30.
Yesterday (Monday) they had moments of silence twice which I thought was appropriate.
You could have heard a pin drop.
I must be getting nasty in my old age....
Ok- so I am only 39-lol.
Anyway, I am not one to get in somebody's face and cuss at them, but this guy totally crossed the line of decency with me.
I came out of the office, and this jerk-off customer was standing there- he looked at me, and said "Kenny- I thought you were gone !"
(Kenny is the name of the deceased co-worker)
With the acting manager standing behind me, I looked at him and said "You're a dumb ass !" and walked away.
I heard some shocked responses from people who overheard it.
I talked to the acting manager later and apologized for blowing a gasket, but he assured me none were needed; and in fact he crawled the customer's ass for being so classless.
This morning about 7:10 I realized a co-worker had not showed up. One employee left to go to his home, but he did not answer.
I called for the sheriff to do a welfare check on him. They entered somehow.
He died in his sleep :(
He was 42.
I am rarely off on Saturday, and I do not have cable TV, but I can't believe all the infomercial shit I have seen today.
The ones that really make my butt itch are those advertising big weight loss in short periods of time.
I saw one that talked about losing 13 lbs in 6 days.
Hell- back in 1997 I lost 14 lbs in 3 days. What was my secret ? I got sicker than a dog !
I had a fever of 105.7.
Sounds like a local FM radio station.
I would never recommend losing weight that way- since I gained it all back :(
This gave me chills:
Students at Churchill County High School got a gruesome lesson about drinking and driving Thursday with a simulated crash that "killed" two of their classmates and sent another friend to jail.The entire school population was marched over to the Churchill County Fairgrounds where two smashed vehicles were displayed under a gray tarp. When the tarp was pulled away, it revealed three bloody bodies in one vehicle and an intoxicated teen in the other.
If you think that was something, check this out:
A group of high school students wore white makeup to portray students who have died in drunken driving wrecks. They were summoned out of class Thursday by the Grim Reaper, police officer Chris Alexander, who dressed up to represent death.
It's a shame that telling things in a graphic nature is the only way to get through to some people, but if this shakes people into reality, so be it.
Read more at:
http://www.lahontanvalleynews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040507/News/105070001
Last week my boss was suddenly transferred, and there is so much secrecy about who our next honcho will be. I don't understand why they have to be that way.
Woman finds bullet in her hot dog.....
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/news/050504_nw_hotDog_bullet.html
While I don't condone death threats, this moron doesn't seem to get the notion that the freedom to express himself also carries consequences if people don't agree with him- although I think it should range from people not reading his paper or website to people calling him a shithead- which he is.
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/news/050404_nw_cartoonist_tillman.html
I got this spam shit today- give me a break......
From:James Albert
Reply To: albertajjames@netscape.net
Dear Sir,
I am James Albert, Bank Manager of Standard Bank
of South Africa. I have urgent and very confidential
business proposition for you.
On June 6, 1997, an American Mining
Consultant/Contractor with the South African Mining
Corporation, Mr. Ken Power made a numbered time
(Fixed) Deposit for twelve (12) calendar months,
valued at US$28,000,000.00 (Twenty-Eight Million
Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a
routine notification to his forwarding address but got
no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and
finally we discovered from his contract employers, the
South African Mining Corporation that Mr. Ken Power
died from an automobile accident. On further
investigation, I found out that he died without making
a WILL and all attempts to trace his next of kin was
fruitless.
I therefore made further investigation and discovered
that Mr. Ken Power did not declare any kin or
relations in all his official documents, including his
Bank Deposit paper work in my Bank. This sum of
$28,000,000.00 USD is still sitting in my Bank and the
interest is being rolled over with the principal sum
at the end of each year. No one will ever come
forward to claim it. According to South African Law,
at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will
revert to the ownership of the South African
Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.
Consequently, my proposal is that I would like you to
stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Ken Power so that
the fruits of this old man's labour will not get into
the hands of some corrupt government officials. This
is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your
full names and address so that the Attorney will
prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which
will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall
employ the service of an Accredited Attorney for
drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain
the necessary documents and letter of
Probate/Administration in your favour for the
transfer. A bank Account in any part of the world
which you will provide will then facilitate the
transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next
of kin. The money will be paid into your Account for
us to share in the ration of 60% for me and 40% for
you.
There is no risk at all as the paper work for this
transaction will be done by the Attorney and my
position as the Branch Manager guarantees the
successful execution of this transaction. If you are
interested, please reply immediately via telephone or
fax number above. Upon your response, I shall then
provide you with more details and relevant documents
that will help you understand the transaction.
Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest
assured that this transaction would be most profitable
for both of us because I shall require your assistance
to invest my share in your country.
Awaiting your urgent reply through telephone & fax
numbers/e-mail address above for further details.
Best regard and God bless.
James Albert.
It was cold a week ago- now it is 92 degrees F (33 celsius).... I had to fire up the AC.
You know you're in a small town when the paper publishes 5 death notices, and you know 4 of them :(
At 10:29:38 Pacific Time, visitor #100 from Irving, Texas made an appearance here :) Thanks to all :)
Working with the public, I have seen and heard of some last names that would leave me begging for a name change; and here they are....
Burpo
Crapo
Dick
Head
Hard
Butts
Wilfahrt
Cox
Hiscock
Cockburn
Fagot (ok- it looks like the other word)
Lipschitz
Dido (looks like a bad word)
Manspecker
and the worst one of all- I knew a kid with this name in Jr. High-
His name was.......
Dillard Rape
*BARRFFFF*
I want to thank Jane from Burnt Fuse for designing this blog :)
It looks kind of deserty :)