I know I have been a downer lately, so I thought I would post this email I received..... I think it's funny :)
Some I agree with, others I don't- but it makes me think ;) Since brain usage is down among most people, I think thought provoking subjects are a good thing.
-Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own
pants.
-I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said,
Implants?" She hit me.
-I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
-I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
-I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
-I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in
the first place!
-When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
-Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
difference.
-Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in
prison?
-If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with
something called LABOR!
-Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells
live forever.
-Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments
cannot be displayed in a federal building?
-Bumper sticker of the year "If you can read this, thank a teacher.... and
since it's in English, thank a soldier."