November 09, 2004


One of my co-workers found a wallet in the parking lot and took it home instead of turning it in. His mom called him in to our boss. Now he's facing termination.
Big dummy.

Posted by dr at 10:14 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 07, 2004

Stupidity never ceases to amaze me

This happens alot, but never ceases to amaze me.
Some dummy looks at the ATM thing, looks moronically confused, then asks the dickhead question: "How do I pay with cash?"
I tell them "Open your wallet/purse, insert hand, pull out money."
Stupidity should be painful.

Posted by dr at 08:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 05, 2004


Today one of the brighter employees we have was moving some freight in the deli, and snagged the fire switch.
At least it works. Just made a mess though.

Posted by dr at 09:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 23, 2004

Two Dozen Ass Bagels

Today a woman purchased two dozen bagels. She handed me the order from the bakery. It said "Two Dozen Ass Bagels."
The dillweed who wrote that didn't know how to abbreviate "assorted." I asked them what an "ass bagel" was.
This isn't the first time some dumbass co-worker didn't know how to abbreviate that word.
We had several signs with the word "ass" on it, and I have seen it on receipts.
"Ass TV dinners" "Ass Squash" "Hershey Ass" have been just a few.
During Easter we were selling Marshmallow Peeps, and the receipt had it as "Marshmallow Pee."
Calgon, take me away!

Posted by dr at 12:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 29, 2004

Head Slapper

You know of a time when you encounter something or somebody so stupid that you can only slap your forehead in disbelief?
I was reminded of this particular incident yesterday, you won't believe this....

One day earlier this year a female co-worker (about 33 years old) appeared to be in some discomfort. She was rubbing her lower abdomen.
Then it happened:

She asks me "Do you ever have that problem when your ovaries hurt?"
The stupidity stunned me. Then she asked again:
"Do you ever have that problem when your ovaries hurt?"

I responded "I don't have ovaries."
"You don't?" she asked "Why?"
"Because I am a male, we have something called 'testicles' instead of ovaries."
(By now I am having trouble keeping a straight face.)
"Guys don't have ovaries also?"
"No, we don't"
"I didn't know that."

I walked away in a catatonic stupor. I was thinking she was pulling a joke, but she wasn't.

Posted by dr at 09:08 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 28, 2004

End of an era

The famed Ponderosa Ranch from Bonanza has closed forever. That totally sucks, I never got to visit it :(

Posted by dr at 07:09 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 23, 2004


We have this dumbass where I work. She's been there about 5 years, seems to call off when she gets a hangnail. She still doesn't know how to read the damn work schedule. Shed didn't show up today, probably called because she has a sideways fart she can't get rid of.
I've been there 11 years, and misread the schedule once.

Posted by dr at 02:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 08, 2004

Local Candidate for the Darwin Awards

This moron should be nominated for the Darwin Awards....

About 30 miles east of here we have a 600 foot tall sand dune called (duh) Sand Mountain.
This past monday some 21 year old (idiot) sailor from Whidbey Island NAS, Washington, decided he would go riding up the mountain on a motorcycle. At 3AM. No Lights. No helmet. No fucking brains.
He went up at a high rate of speed and is estimated to have sailed 200 feet over the peak before impact.
He was 21.
Read it here:

Posted by dr at 07:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 06, 2004

Stupid Shit

There was a lady looking for a "coffee like drink" that wasn't really coffee. She was trying to quit drinking coffee and really liked this drink.
When asked what it was called, she didn't know. But she really liked it. She couldn't even remember if it came in a jar or can.

Posted by dr at 04:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 16, 2004

Stupidity Abounds

Just think- I work with these tick turds....

There is a woman who works where I do whose daughter is going on Jerry Springer to find out who fathered her children. She's proud of her.

There is an 18 year old who shot himself in the hand with a pellet gun over the weekend.

One of our employees was escorted out of the building today after being terminated.

And... there was this conversation over the PA System:

Female Employee: "(Asst. Manager) Dial 1213"
Asst Manager: "Call 1201"

A few seconds later:
Female Employee: "Please Repeat Last Call"
Asst. Manager: "Please Repeat Last Call"

2nd Female employee: "Please Repeat Last Call"

3rd Female employee: " (So and So) if you are in the store, call 1200"

Asst. Manager: "Please Repeat Last Call"

I think the assistant manager was just being a dickhead.

Posted by dr at 10:46 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 13, 2004

Drunk Goes Flying

From the Darwin Awards comes this gem from Kotzebue, Alaska.

About 2 years ago I was working for the Kotzebue Police department in Kotzebue Alaska, which is about 30 miles north of the arctic circle. In Kotzebue the only access to Anchorage and the outside world is the Alaska Airlines 737 service. The main runway ends at the shore line to the Chuckchi sea, but there is a road running between the end of the runway and the beach. When a plane is landing or taking off there are large gates with lights like a railroad crossing that lower and keep pedestrians and vehicles out of the way. Also a DOT worker stations themselves in a truck at one end of the road to watch for violators and advise the jet to stop or abort the landing or take off.

One after noon I received a dispatch to respond for an intoxicated male on the roadway while the jet was trying to take off. The jet had taxied to the end of the runway near the road and turned around to take off. I arrived a found the jet gone and a very wet drunk staggering out of the water. The drunk could not tell me what had happened and the DOT worker was laughing to hard and was in tears at the time. So after taking the drunk 20 year old male home and providing him with a citation for Minor Consuming Alcohol I returned to find out what had happened.

Apparently our hero had been staggering down the road headed home after getting smashed in a local area known as South Tent City while the jet was taxiing. Being in a less then alert state he walked past the flashing lights and gates and DOT could not get to him to move him because of the back blast from the jet. The jet turned around and was getting ready to leave when it was advised of the drunk staggering behind the engines. The pilot waited for about 10 minutes and after not hearing another word from the DOT worker assumed the drunk was gone and hit the throttles to take off. Well our drunk was not out of the way yet and had apparently paused for a breather behind the jet while walking to enjoy those nice exhaust fumes. He was picked up by the engine back blast and cleared 30 feet of beach and about 50 feet of water before coming in for splash down. Luckily for him the water temperature is about a constant 38 degrees in the arctic and about 20 feet deep where he landed it apparently brought him around enough to swim to shore.

Posted by dr at 08:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 22, 2004

Stupid People Shouldn't Breed

Read if you want to get pissed off....

A few days ago temperatures were in the upper 90's. An irate woman came in reporting she sees a 2 or 3 year old girl locked and alone in a car.
Several employees witness this also.... the cops are called, but before they arrive the bitch in question comes out with several other kids and wonders what the fuss is all about!!
She states she left the kid in the car because she wasn't properly dressed to go in public.
So- who's fault is that you rotten cornturd?

She leaves before the cops arrive- but they get a license number.

They ought to take this toilet scum and put her in a women's prison, and tell the inmates what she did to her kid. She would get bitchslapped upside the head.

I have no idea what came of this other than the fact the cops were going to look for her.

Posted by dr at 08:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 17, 2004

More Dumbasses

They are a dime a dozen. I want to shoot whoever is supplying the dimes....

Male customer, stands there looking at the atm unit while I check his order.

He is holding money in his hand, staring at the damn thing.....

I tell him the total.... he stares at it.... and asks "where's the cash?"

I say "In Your Hand"

He repeats the question, I repeat my answer.


Then, a little later, a woman looks at the same thing and asks "How do I say 'Cash' on this thing?"

I respond by hamming it up.... and use a hand gesture to simulate a mouth movement- and said "You say it like this.... CAAAASSSSSHHH."

Stupid shit.....

I better watch it before I get in trouble. Hee hee....

Posted by dr at 08:58 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 16, 2004

Just What in the Hell were you looking for?

This AOL search thread led somebody from Brooklyn,Ny, to this blog. Why ? I have no idea....

female had to go in public pee

Whatever !

Posted by dr at 09:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 11, 2004

Too Dumb to be Insulted

Recently, my company re-hired an employee who was classified as a "No Rehire."
She was a troublemaker.....

....and had caused problems with my ex girlfriend (who works there also).
Anyway, my former GF told me that this troublemaker was totally brown-nosing her and wishing her well with her new marriage, yadda yadda yadda....
I responded "Some people will do anything and kiss any butt they have to to keep a job; she must be on drugs."

She didn't get the insult, at least not right away.

I am still waiting for her to try to say I am jealous, because I have a doozie waiting for that.

I will say "Why would I be jealous of a man who gave up control of his testicles to a domineering bitch ?"

Posted by dr at 05:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 25, 2004

How did they end up here ?

This was a search thread that led to this blog... why? I don't know......

Rush Limbaugh Caught with Prostitute

Posted by dr at 06:41 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 20, 2004

"Moore" Stupidity

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Ray Bradbury is demanding an apology from filmmaker Michael Moore for lifting the title from his classic science-fiction novel "Fahrenheit 451" without permission and wants the new documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" to be renamed.

I think I insulted pigs when I called him one the other day.

Posted by dr at 02:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 18, 2004

Michael Moore-proof why pigs and rats shouldn't breed

Does anybody take this corn turd seriously ?
He's been caught in so many lies....
(WARNING: Mature readers only!)

He claimed his latest flim (misspelling intended) had 1000 screenings. Then it was 700. Now it has been confirmed at 412 screenings.
He claimed to have been interviewed by Fred Barnes of The Beltway Boys
Barnes says it never happened.
Sounds like dellusions of grandeur to me.
Either that or he can't find a pig to fornicate with.
How can a bastard like this survive ? He bites the very hand that feeds him, yet he goes on. He has the IQ of an Ice Cube, looks like Jabba the Hutt, and acts like he hasn't had a bowel movement in 20 years.
When the day comes that your star shines no more, you can find sympathy between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
It must suck to be you. You probably should sue McDonald's for making you so fat that you can't reach your penis- assuming you have one.

Posted by dr at 08:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 12, 2004


As I was leaving work I stopped in the men's room, only to notice a big fat turd in the urinal.

Posted by dr at 05:10 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 08, 2004

Couldn't believe it when I saw it

I was riding home today from an appointment when I saw a Nevada Highway Patrol car sitting off the highway near a tree.
The cop was standing next to his car, making no attempt to hide the fact that he was peeing.

Posted by dr at 09:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Class Acts and Shitheads

The passing of President Reagan has brought out the best and worst in people. I won't even say the names of the shitheads who are badmouthing Reagan in death- I don't want to give them any publicity.
Some years ago I heard a nut say that "AIDS was Reagan's secret weapon to kill off blacks in Africa."

Ummm- what the hell ever.... have you taken your valium today?

They should go find a knothole in a fence and indulge themselves.
According to some reports, one of the first to call the family after Reagan's passing was none other than....

Edward Kennedy.
John Kerry has suspended his campaign for the week to honor Reagan. I think that was a class act.
I was not around to see the outpouring of emotion after JFK's assassination, but I hear this is comparable.

Posted by dr at 11:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 04, 2004

Another Religious Nut

I saw this small blazer driving through town today (California Plates) that had stick-on letters all over- on the windows, on the car body itself, on the bumpers, fenders- everywhere. They were all bible verses, and on the top of the vehicle there was a metal frame of sorts with "READ THE BIBLE" on it.
I could not even see what the driver looked like, because, as I said- there were letters on the windows.
I suppose if this moron was pulled over because his/her car had obstructions on the windows, they would claim to be "persecuted."
I have my own beliefs, but I do not wear them on my sleeve, or write them on my car.
This person clearly had way too much time on their hands.

Posted by dr at 09:01 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 01, 2004

You know it'll be a bad day....

When a seeing eye dog shits on the floor in the store.
When some woman calls the exterminator to ask if we would spray her Crabs.
When you see a naked man streaking across the yard.

Believe it or not, all of this has happened to me at one time or another.

Posted by dr at 08:13 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 31, 2004

Jesus Freak

What the hell is it with people who get so religiously obsessed that they make fucking asses out of themselves ?

This moron came in looking for a Western Union outlet so he could get some money. Our assistant manager told him 3 times we had one in the store; but he didn't get the concept.
Once he figured it out- he shouted "PRAISE THE LORD HALLELUJIA" numerous times.
Turns out there was no money for him with Western Union.
He left then came back and wandered the store for 2 1/2 hours filling the basket with shit, stopping every so often to pretend he was directing a church choir- which was actually a display of Triscuits and Wheat Thins.
He kept shouting "Hallelujia" every so often.
Finally somebody called the cops and had him removed- he left peacefully. I am surprised some of these cowboys around here didn't kick his ass.
I sure wanted to punch him in the mouth just so he would STFU.

Posted by dr at 05:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 30, 2004

To Err is human....

To royally "F.U." requires an inept government employee....

June 7 issue - Federal investigators are frantically trying to determine what happened to a missing laptop computer that contains sensitive data on as many as 100 Drug Enforcement Administration investigations around the country, including a wealth of information about many of the agency's confidential informants, NEWSWEEK has learned.

Posted by dr at 06:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 29, 2004

Two Brain Cells- one is dead

Here I was today- working the express lane, and a dumbass comes up and asks
"Is this 15 items ?"
I respond "Did you count it ?"
After she pays, I turn to the next customer, then turn back around to see that the previous dummy had left- without her groceries.
A few minutes later she returns and asks "Was I supposed to put my groceries in the basket myself ?"
( I'm thinking You paid for it dumbass, do whatever you want with it )

Posted by dr at 06:19 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 28, 2004

Some kind of freak

Prosecutors in the child molestation case against Michael Jackson plan to use three independent witnesses to support the allegation that the entertainer gave alcohol to his alleged victim and the boy's siblings
Why don't they just give their strategy away and blow the case ? Jackasses.
Posted by dr at 05:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

You're son is dead- not!

BOISE, Idaho - A hospital worker preparing a 22-month-old for a funeral home noticed the boy was breathing — more than an hour after he had been pronounced dead from drowning.
Seems like everybody was told the boy was dead- except the boy himself.
Posted by dr at 05:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 27, 2004

Why dumbasses shouldn't drive

Last night a drunk drives into a local convenience store.
Tonight a dumbass with an oversized trailer takes out part of the Arby's Drive-thru, and then takes off. He had California Plates and is probably already in jail.
He was last seen driving in the direction of the police station-LOL.
Dumb Shit.

Posted by dr at 08:59 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 25, 2004

Didn't Madonna Retire ?

Madonna kicked off her world tour last night (Monday) in Los Angeles.
Madonna's performing again..... BFD! I made the mistake of going to a concert of hers in 1987....

Personally I never thought she was sexy, I like her early songs, like
Open your Heart to Me and others. I saw her at Anaheim Stadium and it was not all it was crapped up to be.
It was short, and when the crowd was cheering for an encore, she came out and said You're all fucking crazy!
I didn't like the crowd she attracted- wannabes of all ages, druggies and drunks.
She simulated sex with a microphone on stage, etc....
The whole thing was a turnoff for me.

Posted by dr at 07:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 12, 2004

Deafening Silence

Where is the outrage ? Where is Ted Kennedy and all the others ? Why have they not condemned the murder of this man in Iraq ?
Where is John Kerry ?
As of this time I have not heard a peep from them.
By the same token- where is the condemnation from other Islamic Clerics ?
It is way too quiet in Washington and the Arab world.

Posted by dr at 11:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 07, 2004


Last week my boss was suddenly transferred, and there is so much secrecy about who our next honcho will be. I don't understand why they have to be that way.

Posted by dr at 08:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 06, 2004

Cartoonist feels wrath of readers

While I don't condone death threats, this moron doesn't seem to get the notion that the freedom to express himself also carries consequences if people don't agree with him- although I think it should range from people not reading his paper or website to people calling him a shithead- which he is.

Posted by dr at 06:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Do they think I'm stupid ?

I got this spam shit today- give me a break......

From:James Albert
Reply To:

Dear Sir,

I am James Albert, Bank Manager of Standard Bank
of South Africa. I have urgent and very confidential
business proposition for you.

On June 6, 1997, an American Mining
Consultant/Contractor with the South African Mining
Corporation, Mr. Ken Power made a numbered time
(Fixed) Deposit for twelve (12) calendar months,
valued at US$28,000,000.00 (Twenty-Eight Million
Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a
routine notification to his forwarding address but got

no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and
finally we discovered from his contract employers, the

South African Mining Corporation that Mr. Ken Power
died from an automobile accident. On further
investigation, I found out that he died without making

a WILL and all attempts to trace his next of kin was

I therefore made further investigation and discovered
that Mr. Ken Power did not declare any kin or
relations in all his official documents, including his

Bank Deposit paper work in my Bank. This sum of
$28,000,000.00 USD is still sitting in my Bank and the

interest is being rolled over with the principal sum
at the end of each year. No one will ever come
forward to claim it. According to South African Law,
at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will
revert to the ownership of the South African
Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.

Consequently, my proposal is that I would like you to
stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Ken Power so that
the fruits of this old man's labour will not get into
the hands of some corrupt government officials. This
is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your

full names and address so that the Attorney will
prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which
will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall
employ the service of an Accredited Attorney for
drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain
the necessary documents and letter of
Probate/Administration in your favour for the
transfer. A bank Account in any part of the world
which you will provide will then facilitate the
transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next
of kin. The money will be paid into your Account for
us to share in the ration of 60% for me and 40% for

There is no risk at all as the paper work for this
transaction will be done by the Attorney and my
position as the Branch Manager guarantees the
successful execution of this transaction. If you are
interested, please reply immediately via telephone or
fax number above. Upon your response, I shall then
provide you with more details and relevant documents
that will help you understand the transaction.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest
assured that this transaction would be most profitable

for both of us because I shall require your assistance

to invest my share in your country.

Awaiting your urgent reply through telephone & fax
numbers/e-mail address above for further details.

Best regard and God bless.
James Albert.

Posted by dr at 10:23 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

April 30, 2004

Howard Dean Talk Show

My reaction to this is to quote Howard Dean himself....


Posted by dr at 07:18 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 29, 2004

Human Pigs

Over at Asherah's blog she posted about some piggish neighbors..... now I will do the same- but about family members..... the following is rated R for language content.........

I have a former aunt. I say former because I do not claim to be related to her (that is a story I will bitch about another day).
She is a college graduate. A school teacher. She makes a fair amount of money.
But- she is a freeloader and a pig.
She lived with my now deceased grandparents twice in the past ten years. She owns horses, etc, but has never had her own place that I know of.
Each time she moved out, she left huge piles of shit. The sane family members cleaned out the house. It was so bad that an uncle- who was once a minister- was so enraged that he said he wanted to "rip her fucking head off and shit down her neck."

Here are the ugly things they found:
Receipts, unopened bills, used toilet paper, used tampons that were turning moldy and green; green underwear- with shitstains on them. There was also filthy bedsheets.... and that was just part of it !

I have a brother who is somewhat piggish.... I never went into his home because I was worried I would catch something.

I have heard recently that some young military recruits have had to be trained in the basics of cleanliness and housework.

What in the hell is going on with people ?

Posted by dr at 01:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 28, 2004

Dumb Bastards

Have you ever been mistaken for somebody else ?
Read on.... (beware- I am venting and use the "F" word five times!)

I am 5 foot 7, 275 lbs. I have brown hair, hazel eyes, no glasses. I have a soft voice, and generally people like me.

We have another person who does the same job I do- he is 5 foot 10, 350 lbs, dark crew cut hair, dark eyes and thick glasses. He is a loudmouth,annoying, phony, and tells people about his surgery where he lost a testicle.... fortunately I have not had to drop my pants to show these shitbuckets that I still have my nuts just to prove I am not him.

Now- how in the fuck this happens, I do not know- but people are constantly mistaking me for him, and I am getting fucking tired of it.
I have started going slightly psycho with customers who mistake me for him. I do not give a dog turd if it scares them off, but dammit, people need to get their fucking heads out of their fucking asses and look at the fucking world around them !
His name starts with a V- mine starts with an H- so the names are not even similar. We wear NAMETAGS but people are too lazy to look.
It happened again today- the man was talking about coming over and doing work at my house in Sliver Springs, Nv.
I don't live there- the man got insistant I did, and I asked him "Are you mistaking me for V--- ?"
He was- then I looked at him and asked "Do I wear glasses ? Do I have a crewcut ? Do I weigh 350 lbs ? Am I that annoying to you ? I would rather you insult my mother than mistake me for a jackass."
He was stammering and I gave him his receipt and went on to the next customer.

Stupid son of a bitch.

Posted by dr at 09:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 22, 2004

Butchering the English language

This kind of irritates me.
When I was picking up my perscription today the girl asked me:
"Have you ever 'tooken' this medicine before ?"
I wanted to ask her if she got her High School diploma out of a Cracker Jack box, but I didn't.

Posted by dr at 07:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 20, 2004

Karma sucks

What if a woman invites people to her bridal shower and they don't go ?
Here are the details:

For about 11 months I dated a co-worker, and it was pretty serious. She broke it off in July by email (like a coward) and said I "can no longer spoil her, and somebody else wants to."
Ok- I am glad she broke it off then....materialistic turd >:(

She is getting married next month, and invited several people to her bridal shower.
They have told me they will not attend because she was "such a bitch" to me.
I didn't expect that show of support, but I welcome it.

Her upcoming marriage shows one thing:
It shows there's a sucker born every minute, and I wasn't one of them. :)

Posted by dr at 12:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 18, 2004

Why men should never go grocery shopping

Having worked in a grocery store for a long time I have come to the conclusion that men should not shop there.
I know that sounds funny coming from me-lol.

About 10 years ago a Navy dude came in and got his stuff- paid for it and left.
Thirty minutes later he returned and said "You didn't take my coupons off."
I said "You didn't give me any coupons."
His reply was "Oh- was I supposed to give them to you ?"
(And these are the people we send to war?!)

Another instance- I was on the express lane, and some smart ass said "I sure wish you would open up the express lane."
I said "You are on the express lane...." and then I pointed up at the BIG express lane sign and said "....there's your sign!"

I should have offered him some smart pills, but he would probably have stuck them in his butt.

Posted by dr at 05:02 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack


I can't seem to find the story on the net, but I heard this on the radio. This is definitely news from the shallow end of the gene pool.

Some moron in Fontana, California was shooting from a moving car, and he ended up killing his own getaway driver.
Fontana police were quoted as saying the shooter "is the stupidest person we have ever dealt with."
No shit, sherlock !

Posted by dr at 12:27 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack